How to help my son?
There is an opinion that a man is a child to old age. Like it or not, we will not discuss, but the indisputable fact is that men are not less than women, and in almost any age need support. And this is especially true of young people who have just entered adult life. And who will give the best help, no matter how parents? In the article we will talk about how to help your son in various life situations: when he has problems at work or in school, family or health problems, unhappy love, or when your son started drinking. We will begin with this common problem.
Help - son drinks
I have repeatedly met this phrase in various forums on the Internet. Many families are faced with this, and I’ll say at once that in order to provide really effective help to a serious drinking son, you will need a huge amount of patience and attention. The tips below are based on the many years of experience of several remarkable clinical psychologists who have saved quite a few families. Perhaps they will help you.
- In no case do not take away alcohol from your alcoholic son, do not empty caches of alcohol.This can be done only in those cases when he asks you about it, otherwise you will achieve the opposite effect.
- Do not buy, do not serve or prepare alcohol to your son and do not drink alcohol with him under any pretext, so as not to encourage alcohol intake.
- Do not give advice to his son if he does not follow them. You can give two or three tips on trial, but if you reject them, stop any instructions, as they will be useless at best.
- Do not lend money to your son, under any pretext.
- If the son is drunk or drinks at the moment, any conversations about the dangers of alcohol and his behavior will be a waste of time and energy - he will simply forget everything.
- You can't let a drunken son come to your house. Do not open the door and in a calm, gentle voice ask your son to come when he is sober. It is important that he could come to your home only in a sober state.
- It is not necessary to say to the drinking son that he is much better when sober, because even in the case when the son earns good money, he still drinks more than he brings to the family.
- In no case do not do anything for the son at home if he does not want to fight his illness.It is also forbidden to solve his problems at work and in the family, to bring him up, to buy him gifts and other purchases and even more so - to carry out his instructions.
- Offer help to your son only when he is interested in something, but without excessive zeal and without violence against himself.
- Do not consider your son hopeless and helpless, and even more so - do not tell him about it. Condemnation, just like excessive praise, is out of place here.
- Express what you think about your son’s drinking. Of course, your frankness will be accepted with hostility, but over time, your stable life position in this matter can be appreciated by your son.
How to help an adult son
Non-addictive problems are much easier to solve, however, a correct approach is needed here so that dependencies do not overpower children under the weight of problems. If the son has problems at work or in school, it is very important to listen to him and not to condemn. Listen to what he says about school or work, if possible, chat with his friends and colleagues, the boss or teacher. This will help you to better understand the situation and understand what should be done.Remember that in this case it is very important to show attention and participation. The same, and even more so, concerns the son’s problems in the family. In this case, even if he is wrong, you should not shout at him and condemn, but you need to firmly and calmly tell him that he is wrong, not encouraging his egoism. In the case, if the problems are to blame not so much he as his half, welcome him, calm him down, caress, but do not lisp - yet there is an adult man in front of you. In a warm homely atmosphere, he will move away from these problems and will be able to live a full life further. Not one mother helped her son in this way.
How to help your son with health
If a son is sick with something, he needs to be pushed so that he takes measures, heals himself, in the end, at least he went to the doctor. It is known that most of the men to the doctor cannot be thrown out of the house with a stick (what to hide - I am also one of them), but there are cases when visiting a specialist is vital. This is especially true of problems such as toothache, eye diseases, acute viral infections.