How to stop being jealous?
Jealousy - an unpleasant feeling that gnaws, does not allow sensible thinking and "devours" a jealous man from within. Every person is more or less familiar with this state, and it does not matter who became the object of jealousy: spouse, parents, friends, children.
If you are tired of this unbearable feeling and strive to get rid of it, you will be helped by an analysis of the causes of jealousy and effective measures to combat it.
Types of jealousy
Two kinds of jealousy:
This kind of jealousy is justified and has a sound basis. There are no subspecies, because the feeling arises because of a particular situation. The facts are different: the betrayal of a loved one, flirting and others. Therefore, the arisen feeling is explicable and you can stop being jealous by explaining with your loved one.
Unreasonable or imaginary jealousy.
In this case, everything is much more serious. Imaginary jealousy arises for various reasons, or rather, even without a reason, from scratch. More often the situation is contrived, twisted and groundless. The reasons for this behavior are the following factors:
You grew up in a family where there were many children and you did not get attention. The reason for jealousy becomes the installation laid down in childhood in the subconscious, where you shared with your brothers the love of your parents, clothes, toys and other things. Reluctance to do it again does not make it easy to accept that the half has someone else besides you. To prevent such a situation, you unknowingly try to exclude it.
Fear of being alone. The reason for unjustified jealousy is not the fear of being left out of one’s half, but because of the fear of becoming lonely overnight. Jealousy arises from the fear that you will be abandoned, after which you will not recover and will remain lonely for the rest of your life. And the more you think about it, the more you cheat yourself. The reason for jealousy in this case is low self-esteem, not faith in yourself, your attractiveness and strength.
Selfishness. If you think that your second half can not spend time with friends, relatives, colleagues. That he belongs to you, not having free time and your own space - you are a selfish person who thinks only about himself.
Just in case.It also happens that there is no jealousy in the soul as such, but you think that it is necessary to show the second half so that he doesn’t even have thoughts to look at others or cross the line. This is nothing more than mistrust and rudeness on your part.
Regardless of the type and strength of jealousy, this feeling flows in each person differently:
Calmly The jealous man is deeply worried inside, not splashing out in the second half, not giving to the mind, suppressing in himself the feelings that have arisen. It seems that in this case there is nothing terrible, the person does not snap, does not track, but quietly relives his pain inside, without disturbing the people around him. But hidden jealousy has negative consequences: feelings that have long been gathered inside will someday spill out and the consequences are much more serious than with open jealousy. Illness, divorce, undermining of personality is not all that can happen. Therefore, probably, to some extent, it is still better to speak out in time, rather than accumulate so much emotion in yourself.
With a splash. The jealous man "boils", but does not hold back his feelings, throwing them on the offender. Perhaps this is the best option, but only for reasonable jealousy.
Out of control. This is the most difficult form of jealousy. The "manic" feeling of the jealous man does not allow him or his second half to live in peace. Man ceases to control himself and rolls up tantrums and scandals from scratch.
Reasons for jealousy
If everything is clear with the types of jealousy, then to stop being jealous, reveal the true causes of jealousy, because this feeling does not arise from scratch.
Most often, men are jealous because of the natural feeling of ownership. Or only him, or no one will get it.
Not the last role is played by feelings of pride and vanity. And even if such a man is changed, he will be more tormented not by the fact of betrayal and betrayal, but the misunderstanding that he was preferred to another.
If the man himself is not averse to flirting with the opposite sex, he believes that everyone has such hidden desires.
Jealousy is also provoked by self-doubt and low self-esteem.
Women's jealousy. Signs of female jealousy are identical to male, but there are some peculiarities.
The catalyst of unjustified jealousy is the confidence of some women that in the male nature there is a search for new partners and sooner or later any man will go “on the hunt”.
Insolvency.A woman realizes that when left alone, she will be unable to satisfy her needs either morally or financially.
How to stop being jealous of a loved one?
In order to stop being jealous, carry out an introspection, find the root of the feeling, understand, confirmed by the facts your jealousy or not.
For example: “You saw that your other half is talking nicely with the opposite sex. The feeling of jealousy encompasses you. And why? Because he or she smiles at each other and communicates without you? Or is it not a friendly conversation, but something more that can be seen with the naked eye? Or maybe it is unpleasant to you that they are not paying attention to you? ”Depending on the answer to these and similar questions, you will find out whether you are justifiably jealous or not.
How to overcome a valid jealousy?
If, in your opinion, jealousy is reasonable, talk to your beloved or beloved. But do not roll tantrums - it will not lead to anything good. Choose a calm atmosphere for the conversation, explain without shouting and hysterics what exactly you did not like about the behavior in the act of the chosen one. If you are not indifferent to your half, it will surely dispel all your doubts and unjustified experiences,explaining your position. Thus, the nascent black feeling will fade away, not having time to flash.
How to overcome unreasonable jealousy?
When fear of loneliness, which appears from low self-esteem and lack of confidence in their abilities, look at yourself with new eyes. Find in yourself character traits, in appearance what impresses you the most, what you are proud of. Tell yourself that you are interesting, smart and beautiful, and even if you suddenly leave you, you will not be left alone. There will definitely be a person who will love you with all your strengths and weaknesses.
If the feeling of jealousy towards a person arises due to emotional dependence on him, try not to dissolve completely in the person. Understand, you and he are separate personalities. Each person should have a place and time for their own classes. Find yourself a hobby, hobbies that can emotionally hook you.
If you fear losing financial stability, your own stabilization will help overcome the feeling of jealousy. Hope in this life can only be for yourself, it is wrong to depend on another person. In life, everything happens and betrayal or withdrawal - this is not the only thing that happens.Therefore, knowledge, skills and abilities for self-sufficiency should be. And then the feeling of jealousy is not because of what will arise.
If you yourself have never seen a reason for jealousy, but your neighbors, girlfriends and other personalities constantly wind you up - do not listen to them. Rely on facts, not speculation.
Feeling jealous because of your “sins”, you are doing terrible things to a person who loves you. Do not judge people by their improper actions.
Jealousy, arisen because of their own selfishness, root out in the bud. Such relations, as a rule, do not have further development. Man does not belong to you. Any relationship should be desired and bring joy.
How to stop jealous of your man?
Immediately build relationships on trust. Jealousy, you will not prevent possible betrayal. If a person wants to go "left" no scenes of jealousy will not help, and perhaps even provoke an act so that the accusations were not in vain.
Be positive, interesting and versatile. Be not only a girlfriend or wife, but also a friend and lover, and then your man will not want to look at other girls. Trust your soul mate, do not bind him to yourself.
If, despite the efforts, the husband goes to another, then he is not the one you need. There is a man in the world who will appreciate your behavior and with whom you will create a trusting and strong relationship.
How to stop being jealous of your girlfriend?
Initially build a cozy relationship. In fact, girls do not need much to belong to you: attention, comfort and your love. Showdowns and scenes of jealousy show you as a weak and insecure person. Prove that you are strong and the girl, being with you, will feel comfortable and protected.
If the effort does not help, and the girl is looking for adventure - let go. There will be one that will not need to attract jealousy scenes, which will be comfortable next to you.
How to stop being jealous of the past of your half?
It is important to the suggestion and the realization that a person with all his desire will not change the past. What happened in the past was before meeting you. Do not think that old impressions are brighter and more interesting than your relationship. All this is far-fetched and groundless, if your second half were bored with you, it would not be with you.
Strive to make your lover or beloved with you free and easy. To the second half sought to spend all my free time with you, not looking for emotions and communication on the side. Do not expose a person to control, let the relationship develop naturally, and not by force of your sense of jealousy.