Why categorically you can not beat the child?
Education is a painstaking and sometimes very difficult process. After all, every parent wants to instill in his child only good and useful habits and skills. But after all, every little person in the period of formation manifests its own character, and often the wishes and requirements of the parents and the child differ in certain situations. And when from obedience and a trace of a cold, other methods are needed, and many parents in this case often use physical punishment. Should we do this, and what it may lead to, we will tell further.
Oh, I'll ask you!
Probably, almost every parent has sinned at least once with the use of force, because the nerves were running out, and patience “burst”. Many people are very much reproached after this, but some believe that beating a child is normal when words and persuasion no longer help.
Psychologists categorically prohibit doing this, and this is why:
- It has no educational impact. Yes, the child will immediately stop messing about or doing something that is impossible, but only because he will be distracted by your cry and a slap.But the next time again, it will reach for the forbidden, and they will not understand why it was forbidden last time. Perhaps this time is already possible?
- This is a manifestation of weakness. Adults, of course, have superiority over the child in power, and this is understandable to all. But when the parent prefers to hit the baby, and not try to explain why it is impossible to do this or that, this is a manifestation of weakness. Hence, an adult is powerless before the whims, and feels that he is losing his credibility. But here's the ingenuity, intelligence and resourcefulness is not enough to solve the problem peacefully.
- Fear breeds fear. Children who suffer from physical punishment in the family often grow secretive. They are afraid to tell their parents about their problems, needs and desires, as a result of looking for advice on the side, and melting in the soul of resentment and even hatred. It happens that such children often fall into bad companies and are amenable to negative influence.
- There are serious medical reasons for this. And that's what. Studies have shown that in children who were beaten on the head in childhood, the level of gray matter is significantly lower. And this means that forceful methods of solving problems directly affect the processes occurring in the brain. This entails a lag in psychological development and problems with the nervous system.
- This causes psychological problems. Do you think it's forbidden to hit only on the head? Even slapping hands is taboo. The fact is that since infancy, the children are researchers. And such a seemingly innocent gesture, like hitting the hands, can cause irreparable harm. Namely - to fundamentally destroy the process of knowledge, discouraging the desire to continue it. This leads to apathy and disruption of the normal development of the child.
Now let's see, what threatens the rash behavior of parents?
- The appearance of fear. The little man a priori loves his parents very much, but at the moments when they go out of themselves, love gives way to horror. These two opposing emotions almost never normally coexist in the child's psyche, and lead to neuroses.
- Understating self-esteem. The little ones stop believing in themselves and their strengths, opportunities, succumb to difficulties, and are always inferior to those who seem to them stronger, afraid to defend their opinions.
- Loss of concentration and emotional connection. Children who constantly wait for physical punishment cannot concentrate on important things, and also gradually move away from adults, which causes confusion and additional problems in the family.
- Often adults, being in a rage and losing control, are able to inflict severe injuries on their loved one.
There are always alternatives to flogging. You can try to switch attention to something else, and when the kid stops doing something that can not be explained, why not do it. Often a problem with discipline or restoring order can be solved with the help of a game in which the parent will necessarily participate. Well, do not forget that every child has his own special hobbies, banning them for a while is much better than slapping.
Love your children and try to find a common language. Then the problems will be much less, and those that appear will be solved in the blink of an eye.